As I said on Twitter, I think that 2014 was a year of progress. I continued seeking treatment for my health issues and while there’s been some bumps in that process December 2014 me was definitely healthier and happier than December 2013 me. I added medication to my mental health treatment, which was a much-needed kick to my brain chemistry, and not being depressed and unmotivated all the fucking time has been pretty great. Still got some other issues to fully get under control but they’re coming along. I’m not expecting 2015 to be Suddenly Totally Healthy And Supertastic… but continued progress, that’s doable. Nothing much new, just more of the things I’m doing. Continue to improve, continue being happier and more able to do things.
When I was thinking back on the last year mostly what I remembered was being ill and always exhausted, struggling with various conditions and trying to chip away at them. The seven-month cough might have finally been solved (in a very exciting adventure which included being told I didn’t have asthma a fortnight before having an asthma attack!) but 2012’s bronchitis exacerbated some underlying things I’d been trying to ignore. I’m getting some results in a couple weeks so… fingers crossed.
I think it’s important, though, to remind myself that, while 2013 was a bit of a limbo year, it was not completely awful. I didn’t gain any major illnesses and, though there was some driftings, I didn’t lose any loved ones, most importantly. There were achievements too, things I need to be proud of instead of regretting: I bought a new car and went on a great roadtrip; I finished a cross stitch project I started three years ago; I stayed employed; I managed to write, a little, and write about things that are important to me and my loved ones; I made my friends laugh and cry (in a good way!).
Two stories were published this year and I’m happy with them both. I’m proud of the language in my tale of two women’s obsessions, “Love Over Glass, Skin Under Glass“, and in “Tanith’s Sky” I thought about grief and genderqueerness. There was also the first poem I’ve written since primary school, “Zucchini“, which explores relationships as most of my writing does, in this instance focusing on aromantic partnership. Mostly I edited and reworked pre-existing stories rather than writing new ones, and sadly I didn’t do a lot of reading either. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to do a lot more in 2014, assuming at least some of my health issues can be alleviated! Touch wood. 😡